That's intense
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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