You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
