the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
