she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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