So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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