that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize