I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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