So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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