last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
