so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
