I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
