Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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