My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
worst night to have a conscience
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I lost the right to judge tonight
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
