dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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