Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize