Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
