I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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