Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Green mimosas i think yes
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
