It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
