i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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