you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
