Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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