I'm eating all of the evidence.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
