i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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