was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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