Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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