I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
