Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
