she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize