Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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