Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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