There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
