I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
