her vagina looked like bernie madoff
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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