remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
