College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
