wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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