dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened