Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
