I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
