Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.

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(317): View more from Indiana

You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time

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(773): View more from Illinois

Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.

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(719): View more from Colorado

passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud

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(+61): View more from Australia

i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..

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(347): View more from New York

He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?

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(949): View more from California

I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.

(949): View more from California

In a moving vehicle and other people in the car

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.

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