Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
