He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
