We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
