Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Vodka?
Forever.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
