This house was built for laser tag.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize