There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
