; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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