he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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