i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
