I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
