Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
