Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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