Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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