help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
