When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
