Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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