I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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