sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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