come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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