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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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