Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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