trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
