brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Drunk is a universal language darling
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
