Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
