Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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