whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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